When your heart fills up you never really realize that it is happening. You never feel full of love, you just are. But when you lose something--that thing that has been so dear to you and part of your life for many, many months you feel...
Empty.
It is an empty-ness that I cannot explain. It is just there. The left side of my chest just feels raw and bare and open.
I have been told that time heals all wounds, so I am hoping time heals mine.
My family and friends are giving me incredible support and I am extremely thankful for it.
I have realized that the most important thing for me to do is keep busy.
Today I helped my dad with the horses--they have always been a calming source for me, and we bedded the sheep with warm straw as it is cold outside.
I also helped dad with X-mas decorations at his cafe and went to a X-mas party with him----all to stay busy.
The rest of my day is definitely consumed by that feely of loneliness and that wish that I could just call or message that one person who I have spent sooo many hours, days and months with---but I can't.
I am supposed to let go and so as another day passes I am trying to step further and further away and try and make the gaping whole in my heart heal.
I am not only doing this for me, but for him as well.
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