Bridesmaid Dresses.

My best friend is getting married in June.

Today, three of the four bridesmaids went to Wedding World to find dresses.


We all decided that getting the same dress would be great, so that's what we ordered.





And yes...they are ordered!





Thank goodness!!





It's gonna be like the one above,...but charcoal and with a bright pink sash around our waist's.

MacBook Pro

So, I turned my lappy on the other day and it started squeeling. It is like the fan isn't rotating correctly or something. Maybe I dropped my laptop one too many times....crap.

Anyhow, the MacBook is still working...for now. Thank goodness.

I desperately need it so it would suck big time if it crapped out on me.

Ah, life.

Job

So, since I'm running low on money and still on the prowl for a communications job I took a reporter/photographer job at a local weekly paper.

I have worked since Wednesday and last night the first paper I am in went to press.

I got front page!

My work has also hooked me up with business cards and an E-mail, so I am ready to roll.

The people I work for publish two papers each week--both in the same community, so I write for both papers. The News Advertiser comes out on Monday's and the Vegreville Observer on Wednesday's.

So, if you want to see my articles, head on over the The News Advertiser website on Tuesday's or so, and the newest, most relevant stories should be posted.

:'(

I miss him.

I miss him everyday.

Everyday I wake up and hope that he is okay.

I want to talk to him, talk to him like I have so many times. I have had some of the most amazing conversations with him. I want those again.

I want to talk to him, but when I do so I want my heart to stop believing that there is still hope.

My heart thinks that he is just away for awhile--like when he was away at school and I didn't see him for months on end.

I'm getting there. One day I will be free of that hope and I will be able to talk to him like he is one of my best friends. He is one of my best friends. And hopefully he always will be.

A song..

I was attracted to this song when I first heard it.

Now it seems even more relevant.

It's from the Twilight Saga: New Moon film-- "Possibility" by Lykke Li

Hallelujah!

My G.S.T cheque arrived today. Hooray-- I can now possibly drive my car for another two weeks before I run out of money...again....

Please! I desperately need a job.....

Lemons

It has been exactly a month to the day that I packed up my stuff and drove back to my dads.

It has been a ridiculously hard month, one that has tested my strength, sanity and heart.

Much has happened, and though more days than not are really difficult, every so often i get a very short glimpse that makes me feel like something amazing is going to happen for me soon.

I am starting to realize that every decision I now make should be in the best interest of me. I am no longer making a decision or being part of a decision that may hurt or benefit two people.

I have been able to gain some of my sanity back by spending a lot of time with the animals. In the horse world, they often say that horses have a sixth sense. I think they do...

I spent a lot of time this past month with my horses. All of whom are very young and often very high strung. When I was in there company they were docile and plodded along knowing that at any second I might just need something to lean on.

We have also had lambs born. Three sets of twins. One set born when I was away on Christmas Day and the other two this week. I have been spending the rest of my time making sure they are alright. I like helping them. When I know they are happy and healthy I feel much better. When they are okay, it makes me feel a little bit more okay every day.

Yesterday I turned town a request for a job interview. It was a job in Calgary--yes, working as a public relations/communications coordinator, but the job was only for 3/4 time---30 hours a week. With student loans and the cost of living high in Calgary I would only be breaking even, and that's not what I am looking for. I am looking for a job that is perfect for me. A job where I will fit in perfectly.

I'm learning a lot about myself through all of this. I'm learning about what I want and what I need and what makes me happy.

I'm hoping the steep, steep slope that was leading my into a deep, dark hole will soon turn up and I will head towards the light.

For now, I will continue to make lemonade out of all of the lemons I have been dealt.

Oh, P.S---I am once again snowed in. We have had about 20cm of snow fall overnight--and another 15cm is estimated to fall today....

JOY!

Gah!

I wish it was easier...

This weekend I will hold up at the farm (like always) and work on cover letters and resumes.

What else is there to do with a snow fall warning and blizzard outside? Plus -30 degree celcius weather?....

Hmmm...

Zero Dollars...

One of my major worries right now seems to be money. With no job, and no hope in sight it is getting tougher and tougher.

The only direction money seems to be going for me is out. Student loans, cell phone and health care add up ridiculously fast.

I need 2011 to turn around pretty fast or I am going to be in trouble.

This little image of the dollar sign seems friendly. In reality, well my reality...the dollar sign is starting to drive me crazy.

It costs money to do anything, even drive to town.

Grrr....